So it has been 3 weeks since I arrived in hospital at half 7 in the morning and an hour later I had my second son I will call H.

So now I had a chance to sort of settle (yeah right) with two kids (toddler and newborn) how do I feel? 

Well…

I don’t want to whine because I love my life I really do but wow everything is hectic and overwhelming and I will admit now when they are both crying or I have had a bad night I do get a little teary and I am like why is my life so hard! 

All he’s I am still feeling teary not completely but things set me off and i find myself crying like today making pancakes and they went badly wrong I cried.

I am also feeling tremendous guilt for my newborn because I feel I don’t spend enough time holding him.and interacting with him and I feel guilt with my toddler because I can’t spend as much time with him now and all these feelings are overwhelming and the house work is overwhelming and not having any time to myself is stressful so that is how I feel.
Rant over…
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So mum guilt never goes. I have figured this out in the year my 1 year old has been alive. Am I spending enough time with him? Have I just let him watch too much TV again? Why does the house look so messy etc etc.

Now my new baby is born I have a new kind of guilt not with the newborn nope with my now 1 year old. I know everyone loves new babies and wants to come and see them when you come into work but thwy completely ignore my 1 year old who is in the front part of the pram. It wouldn’t be so bad but all, of these people used to come over to him and say hello and he got all of the attention but now no one even says hello to baby J and heads straight for the back. The guilt I feel for this is really bad that I usually go and cuddle him but with my newborn as I am breast feeding he is quite demanding and I feel I spend more time with the newborn than my 1 year old and this makes me feel so bad the guilt swallow me whole and is the worse feeling in the world.

So a message to people that want to ogle at my newborn please give my 1 year old attention too.

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So yay I finally had the baby!!

When or in my case if I get time I will try to post my birth story. So what I want to talk about today is how I am coping with both of them.

So my newborn screams a lot I know thats not a big surprise but it then wakes up my 1 year old and when they both start crying I feel my brain cells die out. Its so hard to get them both back to sleep because our 1 year old seems to compete to be the loudest and the baby needs feeding and looking after every couple of hours.

I wouldn’t though be able to do any of this without my husband who shares everything with me 50/50. He has been absolutely great Co parenting our 2 kids I know its only been a week but I do feel we might have this as stressful as it is we will be okay.

                      
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